11:42 pm
couch tonight. plate with two crackers left on it, mug going cold on the floor by my foot. phone at 61%, charger across the room, too far. lamp on low.
open the app. random chat. fine. i'll do a few before sleep.
11:43
first match. i type hey.
them: hey how's your night going
me: slow lol. yours
them: good good. what do you do for fun
ok normal. i pick a cracker off the plate. it's stale at the edge. i eat it anyway.
11:44
me: mostly just shows rn. you
them: that's nice. so where are you from originally
me: midwest. you
them: i love traveling
i didn't ask about traveling. read it again. answer to a different question. i skip.
11:45
new one. cursor blinking. i type hi.
them: hi!
me: how's it going
them: hi!
second hi. exactly the same, same little exclamation. i close the tab.
11:46
mug's cold for real now. i nudge it with my toe and the floor's cold too. i don't get up. there's a ring of water under the mug, i can see it from here, a little dark circle on the wood. i'll wipe it tomorrow.
new match.
me: hey
them: hey there what brings you on here tonight
that came back the second my line landed. like before i finished it almost. too fast. i didn't even see the dots. i type not for me and leave.
11:47
i shift on the couch, cushion folded weird under my leg. fix it. better. the plate slides a little toward the crack and i catch it.
11:48
phone at 59. charger still across the room. lamp buzzing a little, that low hum it does when it's been on a while.
new one.
me: hi
them: hey :) you seem cool, you have kik?
me: we said one thing
them: it's easier to talk there, here's my
i don't read the rest of the link. close tab.
11:49
i eat the last cracker. plate's just crumbs. i set it on the arm of the couch and it tips, level it out. i tilt the screen up on my knee.
new match. this one has video on. little window, them sort of waving.
me: hey
them: heyyy
the wave loops. same arc, hand up hand down, hand up hand down, the exact same half second over and over. i watch it twice to be sure. i don't say anything. leave without waiting for the dots.
11:50
i rub my eyes. the lamp throws this one shadow on the wall that doesn't move. i should sleep. one or two more.
new one. blank a second, then a name comes up.
me: hey
them: hey
me: how's your night
them: it's whatever, you
ok. that one's fine. i wait. dots, then nothing, then the tab goes idle. i wait a little more. nothing. close it.
11:51
i'm not sure any of them were. that's the thing. could've been a guy who travels. could've been someone shy who just says hi. i don't know.
new one.
me: hey
them: hello! how are you today
today. like a form. i don't know. maybe that's just how they talk.
me: tired
them: i am sorry to hear that. what would cheer you up
something about the rhythm. too even. i skip it before i can decide.
11:52
i pull the blanket off the back of the couch over my legs. it's the scratchy one, not the good one. the good one's in the wash. fine.
11:53
phone at 56. i should get the charger. i don't. i look at it across the room, the cable curled up by the outlet, and i just don't.
new match.
me: hi
them: hey whats up
me: nothing much you
them: not much. you single?
me: lol straight to it
them: are you single
same question again, word for word, like my line didn't happen. i type not for me. close the tab.
11:54
the upstairs neighbor walks across their floor. four steps, then quiet. i wait to see if there's more. there isn't. then the pipes do their thing in the wall, that knock, and stop.
11:55
i sit with the dark screen a second. the app's still open, the little spinner waiting to find me someone else. it just spins.
i open it again. one more.
me: hey
them: hi! before we chat add me on my insta its more fun there
me: i don't even know you
them: it's more fun there :)
it's more fun there, twice. i don't wait. close tab.
11:56
i scratch at a crumb stuck to the blanket. flick it onto the floor. i'll deal with all of it tomorrow, the plate, the mug, the crumbs, the water ring.
11:57
ok. heard about Knot.chat from someone at work, supposedly the matches are realer, i don't know. maybe later. not tonight.
11:58
phone at 54. lamp still buzzing. plate of crumbs on the cushion arm. mug down there going colder. the blanket's slipping off one knee and i tug it back up.
one more, then bed. i mean it this time.
me: hey
them: hey how's your night going
how's your night going. that's the first one. exact same opener as the very first match, the very first words tonight, like it looped all the way back around to the start.
me: slow
them: good good. what do you do for fun
i read it again to be sure. same. word for word, the cracker line, all of it, except the plate's empty now.
i put the phone face down on the cushion. 11:59. charger's still across the room. i'll get it tomorrow.
couch. lamp off.